Defining a woman

Read an article on today's newspaper about ,'the curious case of Semenya' .World athletics chiefs will meet this week and attempt to do what no one has achieved in history — determining exactly what makes a woman. hehehe...Gud luck on dat folks...there's a reason why the definition of a woman has never been achieved..While the context in which the article quoted the line was different from mine , the fact remains...Understanding a women ..In theory, just a difference of a hole versus a pole (sorry, I can be a bit crass at times)..but in actuality.....woahhhhhh!!!!

There's a reason why men can't understand women....plain and simple...some times women can't understand themselves!!! and when they can't understand themselves then how could we poor men???

Based on my 24 years of collective years of wisdom, here are some of the things i notice abt them

Women have to obsssssesss about their weight...Am I looking fat?? Oh..I am so fat....God , I cant eat that, It'll make me fat....Whiny's first line when i met her for the first time in Mumbai was, OMG!! look at my cheeks!! i have become so FAT!!! Its a collective thing ...All women have to obsess about weight at least once in every conversation and I mean every women!! Lemme see, so far collectively I have heard Eds,Bunny,Ash,Angel,Ziggy,Dusk,Ru,Whiny,Marta,Henry, Half-ticket (names changed to protect privacy) all complaint about their weight at least a million times inspite them being absolutely beautiful and having several admirers would sell their body parts to be with them...An example of this would be Whiny who looked absolutely gorgeous today!!At least thats what the guys outside Mocha's thought who kept giving her the check-out look! :)

When it comes to abusing, most women tend to shy away. Its like they have to conform this societal demand that you frown away from abusing most of the time. When you abuse in front of them , they will be like sheesh, what a disgusting fellow..Kitna Vahiyat Ladka hai... :) ... Of course, you have this alternate set of women who think as a rebel they should add abuses to each and every sentence... Like the girl who sat in the Goa bound bus behind me who went like, What the Bloody fuckin yaar, we're going to fuckin Goa yaar, waha pe hum mast bloody mazza karenge yaar, fuckin mazza..yaar...

Women have to hold hands all the time and go to the bath room together...Its an absolute must!!! hehe... memories fly back to that time in bangalore where at breakfast, 4 women went holding hands together to wash hands..hehe...and then a fifth was needed when one of the four spilt chutney up her new blouse, to emphatise and wash her tears!!

Women gossip...!! Oh yeah, men gossip too but WOMEN GOSSIP!! When it happend with the guys, its just that its over a beer when you are just chilling that certain topics are just casually discussed. Its just a surrounding thing..Its like frenchfries..You eat them to pass time..A side dish for the main course.But with women...it is the main course...I know women who had specially set aside time and venues to share the latest happenings around the place...and by chance if they got to know some particular news later than a rival, they will be all shocked and go like, HOW COME I DIDNT KNOW ABOUT THIS!!!!!

Sex is big for women...I mean really big...Most of the women I know would never be able to have sex for kicks and through flings. For guys , sex is big too but at the end of the day its just a natural act of mating. For women, it gets really emotional. I know several women who have stayed on in bad relationships purely because they had lost their virginities/ had a physical relationship with their boyfriends. Being a guy, at the end of the day, its just sex, but for women its S-E-X!!! While sex is important, at the end of the day, its the total package that counts and if a couple can not gel together than in my opinion they shouldn't. Its just easier to move on rather than trying to stay in a relationship that frustrates both members and eventually results in worse relationships with each other.

Punctuality?? whats that?? Some women believe that its their right to be fashionably late..10 means 10:30 at least... Planning any mass event with friends absolutely has to take this into consideration.. if you have some place to go and you have to make sure that you reach in time, you have to set a deadline about 1 hour in advance to the time that you actually need to leave. this ensures that your date/ group of friends think that they are being fashionably late and you can make it to your event on time.. :) ..

Listening to a women says is not about just listening to her. You have to also understand the hidden underlined statements. Some times, I don't want to talk about it means I want you to ask me about it a million times so that I know you care.. At times, you are anticipated to know about things that may have happened in your absence without the woman in question telling you about and the other people who know about it being people that the woman has met only once in her life and will probably never ever meet again. Can you imagine? The only other person who knows about the issue in contention is some one whom you dont know at all!!

I always have wondered about a few things that guys do that women frown upon but probably do themselves secretly as well. At least its my theory , they do...But as I run the risk of alienating myself from the few women who I absolutely love if I put my thoughts out in public domain, guess I ll have to keep that to myself. I already run the risk of a few choicy words for some of the stuff that i have already put up...

The aim of this post was to have a bit of fun mocking a few friends of mine. In actuality, women were God's gift to mankind. No man is complete without his woman by his side. and the strongest and sternest of men turn to putty in front of their respective spouses. or as DK used to put it, Sher toh saat baje ke baad billi ban jaata hai...I respect every woman for their character, their poise and grace, their intelligence and their strength which often exceeds anything that a man is ever capable of.......

Peace...